The One about a busy life

Does it seem to you that life has gotten busier?  When someone asks you, "How are you doing," is your response, "I'm so busy."  Busy seems to be the new normal, doesn't it?  The busier you are, the more you confirm that you belong here.  Being busy is an essential part of American life. We live in a 24/7/365 world now.  Nothing stops.  Ever.  And if you stop, you might miss something or be missed. Do not get off this train or you will die.  Keep up or get out.    In the last month,have you lost sleep?  Have you felt overwhelmed? Have you experienced frustration with your excessively full schedule?  Have you played tag team with your spouse, like ships passing in the night? Do you think that if you don't do this thing, you will have failed?  Do you ever feel that kind of pressure?  For yourself or your kids?  


I experience this as a dad with three sons. With overlapping schedules competing for our attention and devotion, we feel like we're losing most of the time.  Socializing your children is about making the right choices for their extracurricular activities.  Soccer?  Football? Lacrosse?  Baseball?  Rec League basketball?  Music lessons?  Scouts?  My wife and I were talking about our middle son's friendships.  He laments that two of his closest friends, who play midget football together, do not include him in their recess activities.  They play football and he doesn't.  When we suggest some other friends, he says that they play soccer.  Sports teams create a clique that begins to exclude, even by 3rd grade.  And the individual sports put a lot of pressure on kids to commit, participate, and perform.  Many seasonal outdoor sports play indoors year-round now.  There is no off season anymore.  As a parent, you realize that there is a point at which it may be too late to start a sport.  Already by 4th grade, some kids have been playing soccer exclusively for 4 years!  Newcomers naturally feel less capable than their peers.  And my middle son is athletically inclined.  What is it like for non-athletes?  Well, some of them are gamers---they play video games.  Or skaters. These social groups or tribes are more solidified today by the amount of time spent together doing these things.  When 6-10 hours a week is dedicated to a sport, you begin to feel like the sport saturates your life.  Exhaustion and burn out are real problems for some kids, who are pushed harder and harder to play more and more.  
I was a team sport player as a kid. So I'm not disparaging sports at all. I'm still friends with former team mates.  I think there is value in playing on a team for building the skills needed to become a productive collaborator, a coordinator of people, a coach, and a cooperative coworker.  Who is not looking to hire a "team player", right?   I want my kids to experience team work. I've been their coach and leader for some of their activities.  I support their interests.  But they are not robots.  And they need more than a busy schedule to thrive.  I want to protect them from this monopolization of family life by sports and other extra-curriculars.  And I want them to have friends, enjoy the fun of team activity, and use their bodies in healthy and positive ways.  No one else is going to protect them. Encroachment into family time is a real threat, I think, that left unchecked can create communication problems that can lead to some bad behavior.  In this culture, no time is sacred.  No time is off limits.  Every minute of every hour is up for grabs. And any vaccuum will be filled by some event,some invitation, or some activity. We do not use vacation time or we use vacation time as an excuse to kill ourselves the rest of the year. So what is driving the compulsion to overschedule and exhaust ourselves?
Constant activity is a sign that you're an achiever, a doer, a worker, a producer with value.  We are what we do, aren't we?  The more you do, the more powerful you appear to others. He does so much. He's so involved.  How does she do all that and still look so good?
It seems like every adult we know is running a marathon and posting it on Facebook.  Good for them. I'm such a loser.  I'd like to be in marathon shape, but I don't want to get up at 5 am to train, so I guess I'll just be a loser.  But I'm not a loser. I do stuff, too.  See what I did?  Its like we have to prove our vitality and value by showing people what we do. But is that good?  Is it healthy?  And what do we think of people who are disabled or lazy or unemployed or sick? People who cannot keep up...how do they feel living in this world of constant activity?  And then there are the stories of people who overcome.  You know, the amputee who runs a marathon.  Those stories of human spirit and courage? Inspiring.  And exhausting.  I like my couch.  And since I led a scout group on 17 miles of hiking at the Gettysburg battlefield over the weekend, I figure I'm no slouch either. So, what's next?  Another marathon.  Another scheduled activity.  Another game or practice.  Pile it on. We can handle it.  We can handle anything.  We are the masters of the universe, right? I think we are running away from our own mortality.  We are running away from the fear of death.  Since 9/11, busyness has become a form of anesthesia to self-protect from the perceived and real threats around us. Just keep moving.  Keep your head down and keep moving. Busyness is anxiety in disguise. So, what do we do?  As a person of faith, I suggest Sabbath.      
On the 7th day, God rested from the work of creation.  Sabbath, as it was called by the Jews and Christians, became an essential part of their identity as people of faith. One day a week, set apart to be re-created, renewed, restored, refreshed, resurrected from the dead.  One day to remember that you are not the center of it all, that you are not in control, that you are not in charge. One day to be mortal, weak, tired, and empty.  One day to acknowledge that God and the creation are greater than we. One day to lift up someone who is down, to be human on earth along side everyone else with no other agenda but to give thanks. Thanks for air and water and trees and soil and vegetables and fruit and friends and cars and bikes and schools and teachers and doctors and nurses and farmers and stars and rabbits and our homes and more and more and more.  Marva Dawn wrote a book on Sabbath called, "Keeping the Sabbath Wholly."  She describes four moves into Sabbath:  Ceasing, Resting, Embracing, and Feasting.  The first two moves must precede the last two for Sabbath to come to you.  Sabbath is a gift from God to be cherished.      
The rhythm of work and rest is essential to  human life. We know that Americans are sleep deprived. We know that there are negative implications inherent in being overworked.  We know that our kids are run ragged by activities scheduled by their adults.  How do we stop?
Make space in time. This is what I think Christian worship ought to be  about.  A day a week that is not about you and what you did or have to do.  Worship becomes a pause, a gap, a space into which we let God do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.  Make us human again. No treadmill. No rat race.  No marathon.  No schedule.  In the eternal reality of God, you have all the time in the world and then some.  The deadlines don't matter. Worship might be an hour, more or less.  But it ought to be a break. So, if you are  person who believes that God created you why not slow down and acknowledge that this week?  It will feel weird.  Maybe even too slow. That's your over-stimulated brain rebelling against ancient medicine.  The liturgy of the church is meant to reveal a holy rhythm to God's people.  We listen and respond.  We sing out and sit in silence.  We eat and drink.  We pray for others.  We let God in or become aware of God's presence. We share peace.  You might discover that you need a little peace, a little silence, a little stillness, and a bigger view of life than your calendar.