Saul was not a bad man. He was blind. But he was not bad. He was dangerous. He was angry. He was serious. He was threatened. He was defending ancient territory. He was fighting the good fight. He was being faithful to what he knew to be the truth. He was unable to recognize the relationship between the faith-confessions and ministry of this emerging group and his own God-inspired hopes and dreams for the world and His people. He was ready to do whatever it took to shut down this emerging movement of "Christians" who were distorting prophecy and the law. He was eager to partner with other leaders in his religion who held a common interest. he even had orders from the High Priest on this matter.
Then he meets Jesus. Saul sees and hears Him, this crucified "messiah". And the movement,the group, the church he intended to destroy becomes personal. Jesus himself is being persecuted by Saul. There is a human face and voice of suffering attached to the work Saul was doing. Jesus. When people stand in opposition to the Holy Spirit's mysterious work in the lives of people and communities, they stand in opposition to Jesus. When people in the religious institution, seeking to maintain order and control, oppose the powerful and inspired mission of disciples, they oppose Jesus.
Saul is not a bad man. He just didn't see, he just dodn't know what he was doing. He had no idea that he was hurting the ones God loves. He didnt know that he was rejecting the Son of God.
Saul's conversion is a process that happens in people. This process is not prescriptive, but descriptive. And it describes the way to faith in Jesus for those who are religious and resistant. I know some church people who are like this.
1. Faith is a gift that allows one to see GOD for who GOd truly is--- and not as we make, think, or conjure a god of our own choosing and liking. 2. No one is beyond the capacity to receive faithful sight. But the gift of such sight is not something we have to give. We can live it, but not give it. Only Jesus gives the gift of faithful sight. 3. Faithful sight requires an ackowledgment of one's spiritual blindness. One has to recognize one's own blindness in order to receive the gift. Saul was "forced" to face his spiritual blindness by experiencing literal blindness. He was forced to depend on others in order to gain the faith perspective. 4. God's gifts come to us thorugh means--Word, Sacrament, communiion of the saints. For Saul, God sent Ananias to remove his blindness. Ananias trusts God despite his fear and the risk he associated with Saul. His willingness to go was a sign to Saul of this new faith that comes through Jesus. Followers of Jesus take risks in order to share their faith. The result is the bearing of unexpected fruit.
Disciple-making is a process. It is relational and requires self-examiniation, truth-telling, trust-building, and an radical openness to God and the other. Saul was an unlikely missionary, except that he was exactly the one Jesus needed to send to gentiles. More on that next week...
