deny yourself

My wife went down to the Lititz Public library this morning. Its a big morning. Story time sign-ups are today for the fall story times. if you don't get there early enough, you'll not get a spot in the story time you want. Soshewent down at 8:30 and stood in line for approximately 100 other moms. While in line, two friends stood in front of her and behind her. Rather thanrelinquish her spot to talk with her friend, the woman ahead of my wife talked around her, as if she wasn't there.
Cherie listened to the women talk abou themselves. Which day will be their manicure day, which days and hours will be their exercise/rec center days. They talked about their husbands' rec time to ride mountain bikes, etc...They were sharing their schedules. "Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9:30c to 11:00 is my exercise time. Wednesday afternoon is my manicure day. Thursday morning is my mom's bible study group." It all sounds like keeping up with the Joneses, self-improvement, consumerism. Cherie came home and told me about it because she has no plans for herself. Oh, she did schedule to get her haircut next week. But she and I spend little time or energy in self-improvement, at least not in the kind of self-improvement that most consumer Americans partake in. The expensive club memberships, spa treatments, even night's out with friends are not on our agenda these days. Why not?
If any want to become my followers they must deny themselves, take up their cross and follow me." Self-denial is unpopular at best, absolutely anathema to most Americans. Rather thanself-denial, we seek to affirm the self, adore the self, adorn the self, gratify the self, pamper the self, protect the self, idolize the self. Self-importance is the defining character trait of most Americans. Autonomy, self-rule, self-governance, self-indulgence, self-centered living. independence is a virtue that leads to self-idolatry, rather than freedom. True freedom comes in the denial of the self that Jesus embodied. Paul's use of kenosis, self-emptying, in Philippians 2 reveals this amazing act of GODseen in the life and death of Jesus. He surrendered his will to GOD, the one greater than all others.
We pray, "...your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."
Being called to live like Jesus today means to deny the self-idolatry of our culture. not easy. Not popular. What should I do with my Ipod?

King, Obama

Today we are seeing history. Almost 146 years ago Abraham Lincoln, Illinois lawyer who became President, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This began a revolution in American life that continues tonight...
It was 45 years ago today that Martin Luther King, Jr. gave one of the most fambous speeches in the 20th century; "I have a Dream..."
Tonight Barack Obama, Illinois lawyer and US Senator, will address the world as the first African American nominee for President of the United States!
This is a pivotal event in black Amrican history. We should pause, thank GOD, and vote for Obama.
I'm not even sure it matters whether or not we agree with him politically. He has emerged at a time when the US needs a change in the way our leaders understand and use power. he has emerged at a time when a season of hope is necessary. People have called his message of hope nothing but words. But I say, without a more hopeful vision we will never attain a better state of the union. Dr. King would attest to that. 45 years later his words of hope, his dream speech still empowers and challenges us. It is a vision to which we must all aspire. Without a visionary leader whose aspirations actually consider the needs of all people, especially the suffering isolated poor, the infirm, the prisoner, the elderly and the very young.
You know, I think most of us just want to be inspired. We want to experience something greater than ourselves that calls us to a higher way of life. I don't believe that Obama or any President for that matter is going to accomplish world peace, economic equality, health for all people, meaningful employment for every able bodied person, a new car, green renewable energy, and a weekend getaway for two to the Bahamas! I believe that communities can envision, plan, and work toward these goals. I believe there are millions of factors affecting the potential fulfillment of any of these dreams. As many factors as people...How will my sons benefit from our labor and what will they dream, attain, and offer for their kids?
I will say this: Just seeing the possibility that a black kid raised by a single mom who chooses to work in south chicago doing urban community development about low income people, can emerge as a hopeful Presidential candidate is inspiring enough for me today!
Apart from the messianic-like anointing in speech after speech that is offered to American Presidential candidates, I assure you, dear reader, that the only political leader I know who is able to fulfill promises of such high magnitude was crucified for having said so. That being said, dreams worth pursuing and hopes worth announcing tend to require sacrifice to attain. For the Christian disciple that means living in such a way that nothing else matters but the fulfillment of the dream. Kingdom of God living means taking up the cross. I am suggesting that a new kind of President must be willing to suffer with us. I am doubtful of that. And so all of my hope is on Jesus the king and the Kingdom I am coming to see more clearly and love more deeply.
So watch the DNC tonight and see history. But see it in its bigger context...because through history God is moving us toward the dream ,the vision, the new creation---a much bigger deal than the American dream.

Get behind me, Satan!

What prevents us from living the way God intends? Or who? Why? Today is Wednesday so we gathered here for prayer and bible reading/discussion. What we learned is that God does amazing things in people's lives. Certain of us are able to interpret most things in the context of the divine creation drama---everything is spiritual. When we do, especially when the church shares the message of the cross and resurrection of Jesus, people resonate with it---it brings hope. But there are people that will always oppose the things that God does. What kind of a God creates resistance? Or allows it? God seems to revel at the possibility that people can change, see the light, have their minds reoriented.
I was asked yesterday, how is God shaking my world? I'm not exactly sure. So I wonder if its fair for me to call others to reorientation/transformation when I can't right now identify where God is working on me. How am I struggling? I guess with setting mission priorities, with attending to prayer, silence, reading. And I do sometimes fail to move. But I don't have the motivation to produce. Maybe I should. Maybe I should be more productive somehow. I am concerned about connecting with younger adults and calling them to faithfulness. I have thought about the lack of connection that I have with peers andothers in my generation localy who might benefit from a spiritual friendship.
maybe if I join the Lititz rec. I will have a point of contact. And maybe if I connect at javateas more regularly...I am not in a situation that offers me contact, I have to create it myself. And that is hard. under what pretense do I meet people? Work, school, church, or other affinity groups are venues for relationship-building among peers. None of the above opportunites are afforded to me for peer-to-peer relationships. Maybe if I get connected at Akron Elemntary a little deeper I'll meet some peers who are teaching there. Although that is hard too. How much time would I have to spend there as a volunteer in order to buld relationships with other faculty?
So many obstacles prevent me from seeking out others. I long for a community of faithful peers seeking to be together for worship, friendship, and simple mission. But I have no clue how to get such a thing started here. Any suggestions anyone?

why silence

I'm going to try an experiment with someone who, I think, is ready to hear from GOD. She is a yuong adult, single, working woman, living uot of state. She is struggling with her dad's terminal illness and her need for forgiveness to heal their relationship. Not that their relationship is tragically broken, because they are a family and they do love each other. But, there is pain in the unfinished business of wounded history. Forgiveness is the key to unlock the Kingdom of GOD, according to Jesus. Forgiveness opens the door preventing us from entering in full relationship with GOD and the other. To be released from guilt, shame, punishment, and the need to be judge and punisher is a huge gift that people struggle to accept and receive. How overburdened people are with these painful demons. But forgiveness must be practiced, tested, experienced, lived, and worked on. Forgivenenss is like learning to make and fly a kite. Yuo gotta have the right materials, wind conditions, and a willingness to let something go by a very thin string into the sky.
So, I suggested that she undertake a spiritual discipline as part of the healing process. She is going to counseling, but I think a holistic approach to health is important and often neglected by the medical community. I don't blame them. There is little science or empirical evidence to support the concept of the spirit or the soul. But if you breathe, you are spiritual. And not just a cardio-pulminary, vascular system. We are more than flesh and blood.
So, I have asked her to join me (I won't ask someone to do something I won't do myself, unless it is impossible for me to do it), in six days of ten-minute fasting moments. ten minutes of silence for six days, in a quiet place, outdoors, with a single white paper that has a question written on it: "Why?"
On the 7th day, we are supposed to write the answer to the question. ONe hour of silence in a week. That's it. And then we respond. We will share on the 7th day.
I don't know what will happen. Will GOD surprise us both? Will we be disappointed? Will the reward simply be the silence? or the question? or the answer? Will any healing come from such an exercise?
She and I both realize a need for silence and the lack of it. She is willing to try this, can't hurt we guess. And, at the very least, it keeps us talking about healing as a spiritual process as well as a mental/physical one.
I've never tried such an experiment with anyone who has sought spiritual counsel from me before.
Listening for GOD in the silence and in the question, what will I hear or see? Who will I become? I feel some risk in the undertaking, but I know that I am doing this with and for someone else, too. I suggested that we do this because I am walking with her, accompanying her on her spiritual journey. And she is accompanying me, too.
What do you experience in silence? In a question? Can GOD speak a Word to us through a spiritual practice such as this? May Jesus join us as we seek to listen.

Spiritual direction and Democratic politics

I have a cool job. It's hardly a job. It's more like a lifestyle lived out than a job. Today I will spend my day in conversations with people--often about what it is to be fully human, to have an abundant life (not wealthy material abundance, but spirit-filled, joyous living abundance). I will talk about GOD and Jesus and the Holy Spirit actively living and breathing and creating and saving us. And I will get to pray for a while.
I will visit some elderly folks this afternoon. Some need visited because no one visits them. How we neglect widows and the aged. We service them, nurse them, medicate them, and assist them with physical needs. But sometimes even families avoid going to see them. 94 years old. Sitting alone in front of the TV set for hours every day. Very few of the 168 hours in a week include a visitor who is there because of love. I get to go and say, I am here because of love and love alone. It is not a job that brings me here. No obligation. Just love.
Some would say, thats not true. That every visit I make is made on account of my position as Pastor. I say that the position is merely a way in which I can function in this way of life/love and not be accused of "shirking my duties" or avoiding "real work." The ordained ministry is a vehicle through which I am able to be the person God calls me to be. Its like wearing credentials. I'm always a follwer of Jesus, but being a pastor affords me the space and time in our culture to practice this way of life. IN so doing, I am able to help others practice it too in the ways they are able, in the midst of life's busy challenges.
Oh, I love Michelle Obama. She spoke at the Democratic convention last night. She wears sincerity and integrity like a wedding gown. I've never been so excited about presidential politics and the possibility that a family might lead the United States into a vision that is bigger and better than many Americans dream. I think Obama is hopeful because he has seen what ought to be and he knows how to get there. I connect with them on this level. Hope is when the big vision of the best life is revealed to someone who can lead a people toward its fruition.
Today it will take a person who is willing to cut through the crap and cling to the vision and move forward despite adversity and opposition. Someone who listens to the needs of the opressed and the least. Someone who is willing to love others and live that love with integrity, purpose, and strength. I think it will take leadership that sees a new direction, a departure from imperial consumeristic culture. I also think Obama is young enough to understand postmodernity as a deep cultural shift that requires leadership that understands the turmoil of such a shift in the minds of three or four generations who see the world and speak about it in markedly different ways. I wonder what kind of spiritual counsel a President Obama would seek out?
Speaking of which, time for me to go to York and pray with my spiritual director.

meaningful conversation as ministry

Does anyone else have the "post-olympics, broadcast tv totally sucks, too tired to read a serious book, need to be entertained before bed" end-of-summer blues? maybe it's just me. I thought I would be watching the Democratic National Convention in prime time, hoping to hear Michelle Obama tonight. Instead there are a couple of sex-focused comedies (thoughtless and adolescent), or a couple of (un)reality tv shows. I have rarely been so disinterested in television.
Today was a full day. Ministry consisted in a few conversations: Three were scheduled, two were unscheduled. One was less a conversation and more about someone telling me a story about how they met a deceased friend many years ago. Two other connections were really made to schedule conversations another time given the depth and breadth of the topics we need to talk about. Another connection was an ongoing relationship with a coworker and friend who needs spiritual friendship for vocational discernment. Which reminds me that Brian McLaren's book, "More Ready than you realize" is angood text on having spiritual conversations with people---listening to people for discernment and to help them discover communion with God.
I also accompanied Rodney on a little mission, as he continues to be triangulated in a very unhealthy marriage. We transported a woman from filing a PFA in Lancaster to her home, where her husband awaited her. he also confronted Rodney. I think he may be dangerous. he may have deluded hmself into believing that he would be justified in hurting his wife and calling it self-defense. he may have actually convinced himself that she is evil or abusive and that he is right to hurt her to "protect" his kids. he clearly demonstrated anger
So today I was able to walk and talk with people, mostly other Christians struggling to discern what is right to do or so in given situations. I guess it was a good day. Tomorrow is spiritual direction with Rich---looking forward to prayer and conversation.

Summer Footwear and the worship of the triune God

Lutherans of a certain generation remember a time when what one wore to worship mattered. There was a time when you wore your Sunday best and your best shoes to church. And now we live in such an informal, relaxed culture, that going to church and going to the ball game may not constitute different dress. is that okay? There are evangelical churches, especially megachurches, who have understood inclusion to mean that informal and relaxed apparel is normative and hospitably received---even expected! I think that some folks who go to Willow Creek might feel out of place by wearing a dress or suit and tie. So what ought we to think today about church clothes? There is a bigger question with respect to church culture and clothing or appearances. Who is welcome to hear God speak? Are there reasons why certain people should be excluded from the Christian community gathered on Sunday morning? Are there rules that play in our minds, part of being raised in a certain church culture, that determine whether or not someone is welcome? What about how someone dresses, what they wear? Are some people to be excluded because of their appearance? I wear sandals in the summer time. Others have worn shorts, jeans, flip-flops, etc… in worship, even when I preach and preside at the table. For some, this is a sign of disrespect. Am I disrespectful? If you know me, you know that I adore Christ, love GOD with my heart, have indeed devoted myself to Jesus and His way of love---as humbly as I can. I am not perfect. I am not trying to be right, either. I am trying to be authentically me. I dress the way I dress because I am who I am. I also pray that I am not offensive. I am, however, aware that I have an opportunity here to proclaim something. Jesus opposed the religious rules of His day that excluded people on grounds of uncleanliness. He welcomed, embraced, and included outcasts and sinners. This was not popular among the Pharisees. Jesus was rejected for authentically being God’s Son and announcing that the kingdom of God had come to the poor, the gentile the child, the outcast, the prodigal, the sinner, the thief. He did not seem to care about people’s clothing or religious habits. He loved people as they were because each is wonderfully made in the image of GOD. Jesus did, however, become angry about injustice and about excluding people from synagogue and temple on the basis of certain rules. So, I wear sandals because my footwear does not matter to God. Jesus loves me. That’s grace. And, Jesus calls us to welcome people NO Matter how they are dressed, how they smell, who they vote for, where they live, what color their skin happens to be, or what music they love. I don’t determine whether or not you are worthy to receive communion before I give it to you. It is a gift for everyone—no matter what you wear!
In my congregation, we recently had a clothing giveaway. Not a single person who came to that community event returned to thank God in worship here. (That's not to say that they didn't worship somewhere else). I have to wonder---do people without the "right" clothes feel excluded or judged by church people who dress up?
What will be the response when teens who come to worhsip here are told that their dress is inappropriate and disrespectful? Will they leave? Is a church that is out of step with the current cultural context viable? What do faithful people wear?
Jesus' only talk on dress has to do with worrying about what we will wear. "Consider the lillies of the field," says Jesus. Their beauty is unmatched even by Solomon in all of his splendor. Be who you are, wear what you've got.
So, I'll wear sandals to worship. Hey, someone said, "Who does he think he is, Jesus?" I say,if I'm going to be compared to anyone, I'm honored that it is my Lord. I pray that my heart, my love of others, my devotion to God is what reminds people of Jesus--not just my sandals.

Peace

I attended a conference last week titled, "Preaching peace in a Constantiinian world." It was sponsored by a group called "preachingpeace". I think a better title would have been practicing peace in a Constantinian church. The basic thought, espoused by most historic peace churches (Mennonites, Amish, Brethren...) is that before the Constantinian edict of Milan, the Christian movement was a peaceful movement, characterized by a non-violent polemics against the empire of Caesar. "Jesus is LORD" was a radical olitical statement of non-allegiance to the Roman emperor. Allegiance to Jesus the Messiah, Lord, and King, savior of the world, and prince of peace meant that one's life was bound to his death and resurrection. This meant that suffering at the hands of a persecuting empire was an act of faith. But under the rule of Constantine, the church goes from being a persecuted body to a politic that persecutes others in the name of Jesus. Constantine beleives that the cross gives him victory over his enemies, thereby uniting the sword and the cross as a weapon of conquest. Triumphalism becomes the theology of the church/state under Constantine. The result is 1,700 years of church collusion with the militant empires of this world. To our own day and the United States. The civil war proved that one cannot use the bible to justify warfare. When scripture authorizes violence against ones own brother then I think the rule of the house divided against itself cannot stand applies.
And yet, righteous imperialism thrived in the early 20th century. And with good cause, for there were atheistic enemies in the world--socialists and communists.
And now, are we fighting a Crusade, a holy war with Islamic extremism? Who will call Christian imperialism what it is---an extremist element within the Christian church?
I am a Lutheran. We have cited Augustine's just war as part of our self-understanding. God's peace is eschatological. In the interim, there is sometimes a righteous cause for violence--to protect the innocent. But, in today's world--who is innocent and who is guilty? Who is a civilian and who is an enemy combatant? Ever since Vietnam, warfare has become a gray, messy battlefield. And what doe Jesus command to "love your enemies" entail for us? To turn uor swords into plough shares is a sign of the kingdom of GOD according to the OT prophets. If Jesus is the prince of peace who came to bring not peace but a sword, how do we reconcile these things? I think Jesus came to bring spiritual division between one generation of Jews and the next. And what he means by generation, by parent vs. child, is that the family of GOD will be divided by His coming among us. And so it was. The children of Abraham were divided in their allegiance. Some followed Jesus as Christ and some did not. But I digress.
I have ben somehow converted by the teachings of this conference. I was always, I think a Christian pacifist, but now I am also aware of the impications of this theological position in this age.
Brian McLaren spoke about the stories or myths or paradigms that shape our worldview, understandings, realities. He named a number of them and placed them alongside the gospel. Christians are people who are telling an alternative story, a hopeful story, good news. if the Constantinian story has been one of triumph through military power, the gospel story is resurrection from the dead. The gospel story is about the "triumph" of evil and death; and the rising of true, divine power after evil's "triumph". I would like to read N.T. Wright's book Jesus and the Victory of GOD in response to what I have heard and seen.
I did leave the conference with questions? What is peace? is it possible before th eschaton? Is God peaceful? Is government good and, if so, what government? I think democracy has had a positive effect on the humanitarian rights of women, children, the outcasts. And yet it too is an interim reality. Ultimately, the church and the Kingdom of GOD is a strange kind of monarchy or a united trinitarian leadership that is not authoritarian or domineering in their use of power, but power exercised through self-giving love. How do we embody that when there is so much violence globally? Should the church have a greater role in quelling violence through nonviolent protest? How many Christian martyrs will there be before the end of the age? Will I be one? What if I'm not? MLK, Jr. said its not enough to hate war and violence, one has to love peace and pursue it.

weeping and rejoicing

On Sunday a dear woman, Gladys, age 78 and mother of three, had a massive stroke at home. She was worshipping with us at Zion only an hour or two before.
The family spent a couple of days with her in the hospital, though she never regained consciousness. She died around 7:00 am on Tuesday morning. I was privileged, as Pastors and spiritual leaders often are, to be with her and her family in the days and hours before her death. The breadth of human emotion is expressed in a time of imminent mortality. We laughed and cried. And there was GOD's grace and mercy.
Then, Tuesday night I went to Vacation Bible school at Zion in Leola. Cherie and I are offering gathering music to welcome kids every night. It is fun and light-hearted and happy-clappy.
So, on Tuesday I spent time mourning with a family in mourning and rejoicing with a crowd of rejoicing kids and adults! What other job in the world is like this---with people in the midst of the ups and downs. It can feel like a roller coaster, schizophrenic, and I love it!

trailer park incarnation

This famous picture Of Jesus is not Jesus. Sorry everybody who has this picture hanging in your house somewhere. It's not Jesus. I saw Him last week.
On Thursday afternoon I decided to take some flyers to a couple of local trailer parks, inviting residents to our 1st clothing giveaway and community cookout. I went to Hilltop first. Its a nicer trailer park, modular home park south of Akron. Most of the units in this community are newer, nicer dwellings. I saw a few people outside and invited them, all said thanks.
Thenk I decided to drive over Steinmetz toward the Clark's neighborhood on Hurst. On my way, however, I noticed a few mobile homes I'd not noticed before. It is a small park with maybe twenty dwellings on Steinmetz in Akron. I walked through and distributed flyers. Most of the dwellings were in disrepair, older, and poorly maintained--I wuold call them glorified shacks. There were a few vehicles in the park. I saw two women, one with an infant son, and an older woman in her fifties or sixties. I admit that being there felt like I was in the third world. Broken glass, old vehicle parts, papers, trash, cigarette butts. After I finished distributing I saw a man behind me. He was taller than me and thin. He wore torn shorts and a t-shirt. He had long, dark hair and a beard that had a braid in it. He wore sunglasses and held a long stick that he spun like a weapon. He was an amputee, missing his right hand. He was smoking. I approached and said hi. He said hello. I asked if he received a flyer. For what, he asked. I said, from my church...he immediately said, "No. I'm not into organized religion." To which I responded, "Its just a cookout." "Yeah, I know," he said. I left. I quit distributing after that. I thought about that park, that guy, the condiions of poverty I perceived there. I wondered how detached and isolated the residents may be from the places, people, and things that might improve their situation. I judged them with pity, felt some anger about not knowing they were there, and wondered how to reach out to them. After my encounter with the guy I decided that some people are beyond my capacity to reach. I don't know how to relate there. I felt like an intruder, an invader, and an unwelcomed presence. I was not dressed in the clothes of organized religion, clergy garb. But the very thought of a church presence there was rejected by that guy.
The clothing giveaway came and went. Around 200 people were welcomed here to receive gifts of clothes and food. I didn't give a lot of thought to that guy.
Then, last night in bed after beign awakened by baby Eli for the night time change and feeding, I had an overwhelming feeling. I had the feeling that that guy in the park, the dirty, bearded, scary-looking amputee, was Jesus. And I can't shake it. I think he was Jesus. It isn't his appearance exactly, but the enitre brief encounter that stirs me. His opposition to "organized religion" raised my anxiety and caused me to keep moving. I didnt know how to respond to him. he cleary dismissed my invitation without even seeing what it was for. What if he was Jesus? Did I miss an opportunity to hear something important or to offer something to Him? Or am I being called back there even now by Jesus. And if so, how and in what way? Might I go there with Rodney and set up a table with hot cocoa or coffee or food or something? I don't know. But I was stirred last night by the image of this guy--this Jesus in the flesh of a man in a forgotten old trailer park in Akron. I know that I saw Jesus there. I think the message may be hidden in that very encounter. Maybe I am supposed to realize something about this context and about local poverty and the church's role in it. Could it be that orgnized religion is seen as elitist, exclusive, and dipassionate? Are we viewed as condescending, know-it-alls, who think we can fix the "problems" with a little money and annual benevolence?
I saw Jesus last week. And last night he came to me again to reveal himself to me in that park so that I might be changed by Him for Him for others for GOD.
I saw Jesus. Funny, the other week Jesus was a woman who came to me for prayer, money, and my cell phone at javateas too. Her name was Betty, a poor soul with an oversized black t-shirt that read, "Yay, God" on the front. Ask Mark Rutter about it.
Is part of discipleship to see Jesus everywhere, incarnated in the faces of random people we bump into on the way? Do we see Jesus often and am I only now becoming more attuned to His presence? It seems that the more I allow myself to be sent, the more I sense Jesus is sent to me. he's everywhere, but mostly in the person next door. May you come to see Jesus in the people you encounter, who are sent to you in the stranger you would have chosen to avoid, overlook, or dismiss. May you see Jesus in the person you might fear. I want to see Him again.

Saturday at ZION

Clothing Giveaway and community cookout this Saturday from 9:00 to 1:00 pm. Over 20 Zion people have been engaged in the preparations for this grace event. A new group, the MOZ (Men of Zion) has formed. May GOD send neighbors to receive. May GOd contine to increase the spirit of generosity and openness to neighborhood currently working in some leaders at ZION.
There is a real spirit of renewal happening right now that I hope we can capitalize on it in the months ahead. There is energy, an amazing power. I pray that Saturday bears fruit that tastes so good that Zion people want more...When God's people taste the goodness of GOD experienced in mission, the spirit of service and generosity is contagious. May it spread like widlfire through the community of believers who gather at Zion this weekend. And I hope that I am offered an opportunity to proclaim, to share, and to welcome people. The one who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it. maywe see the fruit of our ministry this weekend.

Bonnie and javateas

This morning Mark Rutter and I went to javateas for coffee and conversation, both of which were excellent. Mark is a great guy with great potential. Its interesting to hear someone reflect on themselves and their dreams and hopes for life improvement post-unemployment. Mark may join the national guard's army or air force band. That way he can get his college degree on the army's dollar. Good idea. He'll make a good high school band director in a few years.
So while I'm enjoying my warm double chocolate muffin and coffee, a woman enters. She is dressed in a long black tee shirt that said "Yay, God" in white. She had very long dark hair and bad teeth. She seemed anxious. She came in and out several times. As we're talking she overhears us. She approaches me and asks for prayer. She also asks to use my cell phone. So, I pray for her, let her use my cell phone, and give her $3.00 for lunch. Her name is bonnie. She is a poor soul in need of healing and help. i prayed that GOD would send people/angels to offer her God's grace and mercy. I pray that she seeks to walk in God's ways and to know God's constant presence and support.
Now, what evolved was a connection with Sara and Courtney, two christians working at javateas. They were concerned about what to do for bonnie. They were, I think, relieved that I was there to help, pray, etc...I told them to refer people to me, to use me as a pastor-in-residence. I think I need to be there every week or every other week as a third place, a mediating place, a front porch point-of-contact with the community. God has been sending me there for over a year now. Every time I ignore the call, something happens there to remind me that it is a place in which God is sending me in order to serve. I've led worship there on a Sunday night. We tried to initiate a Wednesday night conversation time. maybe its time to renew a relationship with them in order to meet people. No matter, its a great place to eat and drink and blog...

Leadership training Camp

I sent three senior high students to Christian leadership training camp. They came back and it changed them. They want more. More from their church ,more from themselves, more from GOD. We spent an hour making plans already. They want to lead worship on Sunday nights at 6:00 that is mission-focused, deeply relational, and highly participatory. They want intimacy in worship and in learning, with opportunities to serve in and outside the congregation. They want to hug and sing and make a difference. They want to feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves that also depends on them, even though it transcends them. They want to share what happened with the congregation in preaching next weekend. I am so excited about this! What will happen next? I intend to make the space they need to be the church now. I hope we have laid the foundation and that people around us are ready for something to happen. Because I believe it is happening now. And we can't stop it. We can try. but we will fail. This is a GOD thing. And God will be faithful to complete the good work begun in them,
They want to invite everyone. They want to listen, learn, share, worship, and live a new way. They are starting to get it. They need their spirit to become contagious enough to build a church here, a church which will emerge from their experience as a community of faith.
May the Spirit not be quenched by unbelief, fear, and a lot of other adult nonsense. May they find support, encouragement, and a wellspring of Spiritual power to do and be disciples of Jesus. "Let no one reject you becasue you are young, but set the beleivers an example in speech, action, and in the spiritual walk you are taking." May they hear receive this Word from GOD for them.

facebook

I'm new to this popular online community called facebook. Not sure what its worth yet. Wondering if it is a venue for interaction or not...I can see the potential of exponential growth as one gets connected to others through 'friends'. I can see how it can become a long-distance relationship tool, too. And a way to reconnect with people.
I'm not sure how it is being used by people in a relational way yet. I've not really had an opportunity, but I'm willing to see what happens.
Maybe this is a new way to build or be a church? An online community of faith? What might that be like? And what would be the downside? Is it even possible to belong to a community of faith that gathers only online? Or is there an intimate relational piece that requires physical proximity? Does the incarnational aspect of church assume bodily presence? And how is bodily presence mediated, as sacramental people? For Lutherans Christ is really present in, with, and under the bread and wine.This means that when we eat the rbead and drink the cup, Jesus shows us somehow, and this is a mystery. And this mystery is not to be solved but enjoyed for what it is. Could the web become a sacramental reality, mediating the body of Christ to a generation of people? Or is it a way to avoid the vulnerability and truth of actual closeness? How can you share peace and not touch? Does anyone have any opinions or experiences with this? I see how blogging has drawn people together in some regards, but I wonder about forming community online.

LCP in 3

I spent three hours inside lancaster Co. prison today. I talked with two guys, both heading upstate for armed robbery, auto theft, and who knows what else. Drug use started early, started at home with mom or dad or both. Both said that they have thought long and hard about why they did what they did when they did it.Both recongnize that their actions were irrational and unnecessary. one of them told me that he met his girlfriend in a porn shop, where he was dealing drugs. I also learned that he used to enjoy landscaping and that he loves kids--though he has no children. he was raising his girlfriends three kids when he was arrested. he has done time in four prisons and LCP is the worst.
we talked about God and Jesus. One of the guys s struggling with biblical "inconsistencies". he is learning that the bible is not one uniform text, but many texts over many centuries written ina context very different from ours. And yet, somehow the bible speaks to us,too. even with its inconsistencies.
The other guy has grown skepticalby seeing jailhouse religion. I mentioned that religion and God are not the same thing. Religion is what we do to seek God or bargain with God or assuage our guilt. But it is possible for God to actually transform people from the inside out.
I will see both of these guys again, i suspect. Even though the guards forgot about me and I was left inside for anhour past the designated time of visit.
I began to uncover some sense of brokenness, loneliness, maybe even some yearning for a better story than the one they've been told, or the one they're telling about the world and themselves in it. I'm not sure what to make of these visits yet. Why do I go? What good will come? is God using me or is the devil testing me in some way? I just keep hearing Jesus say, "I was in prison and you visited me." does that include serious felons? Is there a line? can grace become too foolish or dangerous? I actually thought, whatif this comes back to hurt me or my family in some way? might some paroled guy try to take advantage of me on the outside? interesting how fear can creep in. We'll see how it goes next week. Three hours in prison visitaton is longer than I spent in prison visitation in my first 7years of ministry. Why am I suddenly being sent there? for whom? For what? is God really sending me or am I being works righteous? It does seem that as I make more connections with people,bringing the message of the kingdom to them in some smalll way, the more I feel the weight of my own sin. Sometimes I feel like I'm more stuck than others, like a hypocrite for living this way. Everyday is a day for which I need forgiveness and healing from GOD. I pray that as I am forgiven and healed, somight I heal and forgive...

trees

i have a tree in my yard. it grew naturally under one of my pine trees. its a maple tree. i let it grow to about 3 feet high. it was flourishing. i decided to transplant it into my yard and see if i might get it to grow. i dug out the roots, and buried it in a hole in our side yard. i killed it. dead. i think. i may let it go for a few weeks and see if something grows. the leaves turned brown. maybe some root will take.
i was able to take something God made by nature of reproductive design and kill it so quickly. why is that? i feel like going out and buying a tree to plant there in its place. i want to partner with God i nthe healing and restoration of creation, but i killed a potential carbon eating tree that God was growing.
do you ever feel like you're a bigger part of the problem than you mean to be? Like when my three-year-old cries after he hit his brother and I say, "Jonah!" He says, with tears flowing, "I'm sorry daddy,I didn't mean it." I didn't mean to contribute to the decay, the pain, the groaning of creation. I meant to plant, water, and rejoice at the growth.

isoalted populations

the kingdom of God is like a man who is released from prison. Upon release he is offered a postion with a local company that distributes food to elderly people who live alone. he is offered a room in a large home at an affordable rental rate. In exchange, he is expected to clean up after meals and tend to the upkeep of the yard. he is given a low interest loan from a church to attend a local community college at night. ON Saturdays he helps the church distribute food at their food pantry. after completing his education, he receives a promotion, and buys a home through habitat for humanity. his wife and three children join him there, after spending four years in separate countries. they adopt a fourth child.

I wonder if this scenerio happens? isn't more likely that people released from prison struggle to gain respect and opportuities for personal advancement?
we isolate people. we do. i've been made more aware of this truth as I have been sent to them, following Jesus there. I started visiting people in prison. now I can't stop. I am interested in their stories. I hear the story of God and of Jesus in their stories. I hear the story of Joseph and John the baptist and Jesus and Paul in their stories. I hear the story of the crucified bandits; "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom." These are forgotten people. we isolate them to preserve safety, to maintain order, to protect the self-interests of the average middle-class white american. in so doing, we create a system that oppresses people, keeping them locked up even after they are released. life is harder outside if you've been inside. Its not surprising to hear the alarming rate of return for offenders.
it is hard for people who live above the system of oppression to see it. but I have seen people stuck in prison for months, without any personal progress, rehabilitation, reconciliation, or renewal offered to them. one might say, they had their chance before they broke the law. true. maybe. what if they didn't? Now I'm not just a bleeding heart. what if people are to be held accountable and responsible for their actions and offered mercy, forgiveness, and efforts to reconnect them with the broader gifts of society? I believe there is a third way of dealing with people on the margins. One way is to make ghetto populations. another way is to defend them. a third way is to go and visit them, befriend them, invite them to the way of forgiveness. who else is isolated? The elderly. the sick. the dying. the disabled. the poor. think about housing for people in poverty and how it islolates them from a mixed population. I meet people living in the worst conditions, trailers unfit for animals; cramped, old, apartments in disrepair. and he retirement nursing care facility is a perfect population isolater. out of sight, out of mind. the creatino of certain institutions of isolation has led us to create a gentrified society of have's and have-nots. these institutions need to be reformed from top to bottom. jesus says, "when i was in prison ou visited me,sick and you took care of me, hungry and you fed me." I believe he was the master of reconciliation by reconnecting marginalized people with the center of community life. he deconstructed the solid lines of exclusion and constructed fluid lines of inclusion. tomorrow I will go back to the prison. I will join he isolated population there, if only for a couple of hours. but when i do, I meet Jesus.

Prison

I've been visiting a woman at Lancaster Co. prison. She has been in for almost a month now. She was charged with a probation violation with a failed drug test. She is not a user. The probation officer failed her. While she is there, she is mistreated. She is not allowed access to her prescription meds. When she is, she is prescribed a double dose, which she stops taking after two days. She is told nothing after her arrest. Two weeks pass before she knows anything about her own situation. Three weeks pass before she sees a lawyer that friends on the outside retain for her. Another week passes before she finds out a court date. People who are charged with more serious crimes are processed faster than she. She sits. She waits. Why?
We are praying for her release on May 29th, her birthday. She is ripe to know the God of liberation and release. She is ready to meet the rescuing God. Now would be the time for God to act on her behalf in a decisive way. She will remain patient until the day comes. but may it come on May 29th or sooner.
The goal of the system is not release but retention. To keep people in, rather than to reform and free. Shouldn't the goal be to improve people's lives before they are released? Shouldn't prison create opportunities? Shouldn't we care what happens to people on the inside?
Like all large institutions, however, membership is everything. Nonmembers don't tend to care what happens therein, unless they are connected or invested in some other way. Church people are like this too. We want to keep people in. The goal is to send people out better than when they came in. With God's blessing, instentions, forgiveness, and missional love. The goal is to send people out, not keep them in. But institutions are flawed. They are centripetal in nature. God is a centrifugal force---pushing out from the center to the margins. People are closed. God is open. People are limited. God is infinite. People are isolated. God is all-embracing.

Walking to School

I walked to school today--a short walk on a beautiful day. I hope to walk or ride bicycle to work in the spring and summer. Perhaps for an entire week! Walking is healthy, changes one's pace and capacity to be productive. It takes longer to get from place to place, so less can be accomplished. Less is sometimes more.

I spent two hours at Lancaster Co. Prison on Monday, visiting two 20-somethings who are in trouble. They need healing and hope and a way to live that is better than what they have been living. They need an Exodus from the life they are in. Jen from the legal system itself and from probation; Justin from relationships and from a negative self understanding. He also needs to be freed from addiction. I spent time talking about Baptism, God's grace, etc...I will visit them again next Monday. Prison is a deeper experience than the cell one is confined to. It is in ones mind. I will visit more regularly with news of God's Exodus plan for those in prison.

Tomorrow I need time to focus on God's Word. I will be with Rodney Martin in the morning to listen and pray. In the afternoon I will be at school and then at the Beck's before the council meeting. I am looking forward to council. I think the meeting could be fruitful, if people are willing to accept that the church's focus is on making disciples who follow Jesus and serve neighbors. It is that simple. I'm not here to keep members happy or content. If they aren't open to learn the way of Jesus, then they ought not to get in the way of those who are. I'm here to make members into disciples of Jesus. But I've already run into members who think that they call the shots, without experience or understanding behind it. Disciples are willing to experience God's gifts, even when they become uncomfortable, becasue they trust that God is the one in charge. Sheep prefer to wander off on their own with their heads down. Shepherds are called to lead the flock to the pastures and waters ahead, that they cannot see. No wonder the sheep metaphor works.

marketing and church

My friend, a colleague, wants our missional leaders group to talk about marketing techniques and church. I am eager to do so. Here's why:
Marketing the church is like selling doves in the temple. It betrays an ecclesiology sold out to consumer, market-driven ecomomics. The sacraments, prayer, mercy, serving, God's Word are not for sale. And we are not in competition with other gospels, other churches, other religions, other spiritualities, other ways of living. Attractional modes of church require marketing strategies today, in a market that is overloaded with religious and pshyco-spiritual self-help. Since Christianity isn't the most popular kid on the block, especially mainline Christendom, then we feel like survival is dependent on becoming more trendy and relevant---and to do so requires a rebranding of ourselves and a new marketing strategy. Savvy consumers will recognize that to market Christianity is to dumb it down, simplify it, and understate it. Can't market theology of the cross in a culture that avoids suffering and death at all costs. Can't market creation stewardship in a culture unwilling to reject so many idols, whose byproducts destroy clean air, water, ecosystems, etc...Whose ready to sell their possessions and give their money to the poor? Try marketing that!

It's a false ecclesiology, a failing one, that will go the same way Christendom went (though it took 11 centuries). when we start talking marketing, we start talking about advertising. How long will it take consumers to realize that we aren't selling cheap latte's, but cheap grace? Cheap grace is grace without the cost of discipleship.
I'm all for sharing the hope that is in us. But I don't think it's about a marketing strategy. I think its about love and love is about realtionships and relationships are harder than making a striking 'ad' or radio spot. Unfortunately we have a single model for building church: People live like Jesus. Some people are repelled by that, others gravitate toward it. We invite those people to come and follow, too. They learn to live like Jesus. Some are repelled by them and others are inspired by them. They are invited to join us, too. And some do.
It begins with how we live as public witnesses. Missional Christians love their neighbors and friends unconditionally. They also seek to go deeper into the mystery of divine presence through ancient spiritual practices. And they invite others to experience the same mystery.