believing is seeing

Scripture:  John 20
When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’ When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.’
 But Thomas (who was called the Twin^*), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.’
 A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’

Observation:

The Easter experience was initially articulated as frightening, unbelievable, strange, and unexpected.  That Jesus died and was somehow alive again destroyed the natural order of things and upset those who were closest to him in ways that demonstrate their inability to believe the impossible.  They are, after all, only human.  And they were experiencing something abnormal and inexplicable.  He was somehow the same and different.  He was a physical body with wounds.  And he could somehow pass through solid walls.  He was present and absent to them at the same time.  He was recognizable as Jesus and also unrecognizable.  His resurrected body was both old and new to them. 
Some might argue that the first "believers" were somehow in a collective state of denial or a dissociative mental state, whereby they "experienced" Jesus as both alive and dead at the same time.  Psychology may suggest that their experience was of a community mourning.  But then we read the story above.  They didn't all share the same Easter experience, and yet they did all come to believe in the resurrection of Jesus. Most of them would stake their lives on it.  
Thomas, one of the 12, was not with them in the room when Jesus first appeared to his disciples on Easter night.  They were afraid that they would be accused and punished as associates of Jesus.  They were so afraid that they remained behind locked doors.  Where was Thomas? Why was he absent from the group?  He refused to believe the others' story about Jesus.  Without physical evidence and proof, he could not believe it.  He sounds like any reasonable person in their right mind responding to this story.  Seeing is believing. 
 But a week later, he experiences the physical presence of Jesus.  And Thomas interprets this experience as a God-moment, a kairos.  All he can say is "O My Lord and O my God."
The gospel writers reported the experience with little interpretation or assignment of meaning. What they could say was Jesus was alive. The tomb was empty.  He was raised.  "I have seen the Lord" was the first Easter sermon, given by a woman named Mary Magdalene. 

Application:

Doubt and disbelief are real and reasonable responses to the story of Easter. In the above story, Jesus himself acknowledges their fear and doubt.  He offers them peace (an extension of his person, vulnerable and open for them to receive); he makes himself available to them physically; he breathes on them the Holy Spirit (invisible presence of God giving them insight and understanding); he reconnects them to his mission and sends them out to forgive sins.  (This emerges as an initial interpretation of the event of Jesus' death and resurrection; it produces or at least announces the full forgiveness of sins.  So, what is that about?  See my next post.)  For us, we might notice that the first believers were no more faithful than we are.  They struggled with doubt and fear.  They did not understand the meaning of Easter Sunday. That would come in time and we will pay attention to the emerging interpretation found in the New Testament witness in the days ahead. Suffice it to say for now, Easter provokes a response.  Doubt,faith, wonder, awe, fear, amazement.  Believing this is seeing God and the world in a whole new way.  It's THE kairos moment in history. 

Prayer:
Lord, I am sometimes skeptical, even doubtful of your resurrection. I want more proof of life.  I want you to appear to me, too.  I want to see and I am afraid to see, because if it is true then everything will and must change. On the days when I do believe, I do see things in a new way. Give me that kind of vision always.  Amen.