the one about maturity and youth basketball games

‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Gospel of Matthew, ch. 5

What is a mature person?  When does someone become mature?  It may be easier to think about immaturity.  We see plenty of examples there, don't we?    

To say someone is mature is a kind way of saying they’re old.  Maturity comes with age.  But growing up is more than a physical process of development. Physical characteristics of adulthood do not make a person mature, do they? I’ve met my share of immature 40, 50, 60 year-olds.  I’ve seen physically mature teens, whose minds and spirits have a lot of catching up to do with their bodies. Something about us wants to avoid growing up, call it Peter Pan syndrome.  So we see adults throw fits; act selfishly, hide in shame, wear spandex or tight pants, apply youth-regenerating makeup, or a pair of inappropriate shorts; we see men of a certain age popping pills to recharge their youth. Examples of immaturity abound.  Go to a youth sporting event and you’ll likely see adults acting, well, badly.  I heard a youth rec league basketball coach chastising his 9 and 10 year old team to stop letting that “stupid kid” on the other team rebound the ball.  That stupid kid overheard that coach and started to cry.  How immature. Not the kid.  The adult.  You see and hear parents yelling at coaches, at referees, at players. I mean, get a grip.  It’s a game. They’re kids. It’s supposed to be fun. There’s no money involved here. Losing and making mistakes will build character.  Your kid is not the next Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, or Derek Jeter, so sit down on your folding chair and watch the game.  Do you hear yourself? We are dwelling in a culture of adolescence.  It has been written, “Adolescence is society’s permission slip for combining physical maturity with psychological irresponsibility.” I worry that we over-value the adolescent in popular culture.  The brash, foolish, impulsive, and sexy.  The physically athletic young adult.  Sure, we poke fun at their immaturity, while secretly envying their youthful vigor. The Olympic games are an international festival commemorating the physical abilities of a few people who can do useless things with their bodies that most of us cannot do. Like a backside, double mctwist 1260 japan.  I’ll never be an Olympian. I’m too mature for that.         

Jesus uses the Greek word Telos in a sentence that has been translated “Be perfect as your father in heaven is perfect.”  The trouble we have with this sentence is our own imperfection. We know that nobody is perfect or can attain moral perfection.  So, we hear this sentence and presume that Jesus’ moral agenda is impossible, idealistic, and unrealistic.  Turn the other cheek? Sure, that’s fine for kids.  Maybe we teach that to our children.  But it’s not realistic in this world.  Sometimes, you have to fight back. There are bullies.  There are terrorists.  There are violent people who threaten safety.  War is necessary.  And sometimes right.   Love our enemies?  Not here.  We hear and see bitter political rivals who demonize and vilify each other.  Democrats vs. Republicans.  Americans against the Arab world.  We see attacks.  Attack the enemy.  Protests lead to violence around the world.  From Syria to Ukraine, the world seems unstable, dangerous, and frightening.  We must be prepared to respond with force.  And arm everyone.  Because everyone is a potential threat, especially a young, male person of color.  We must be prepared to stand our ground and defend ourselves, our families, our neighbors.  Luther said so, too.  Following the moral argument of Augustine, Luther argued that a Christian is justified in using deadly force to protect the neighbor. Violence seems to be a natural, acceptable, and necessary response to danger and violence.  That is why the act of forgiveness perpetrated by the Amish community five years ago after the Nickel Mines shooting seemed to confound so many people. Retributive justice and revenge are far more characteristic responses to heinous violent acts.  Did you know, however, that Lutherans oppose the death penalty?

Back to that word ‘telos’.  It can be understood to mean ‘complete.’ As in reaching the end.  As in fully matured. As a body of believers, following Jesus, we are called to a mature faith.  A faith that keeps on seeking justice, showing mercy, giving generously, worshiping joyfully, and serving gladly. A faith that loves God and all that God has made.  A mature faith must eat and drink, work and rest, go and do unto others.    

I’m going to take a stab at defining maturity in the body of Christ:  To be mature is to lose gracefully.  Maturity knows when to quit. Maturity holds more tightly to people and more loosely to things.  Maturity is a willingness to try on someone else’s clothes, to gain another perspective, to empathize with another person’s struggle. Maturity is to acknowledge the possibility that I may be wrong and to seek ways to keep on learning from others.  Maturity is not letting shame prevent you from confessing shortcomings, moral failures, and bad behaviors or prevent you from making amends and trying again.  Maturity eats all the vegetables. Maturity praises the kid who gets the rebounds and encourages the kids who don’t. Maturity shakes hands with the one who opposes you.  Maturity is neither offense nor defense.  Maturity is coach, director, and friend.  Maturity sees the enemy as a living person with a heart and a mind and a family and self-interests and needs and hopes and poverties as well as potentials.  Maturity is imperfection with gratitude. Maturity is hope and grief in the same circumstance. Maturity experiences the truth of the phrase, "It's about the journey, not the destination." Because we're not there yet.  We are becoming.  On the way. With faith, we keep going toward something beyond our capacity to achieve. We live toward something greater than ourselves, toward someone better. Maturity gives to everyone, turns the other cheek, goes the extra mile, loves the enemy, does what Jesus says.  Not because it’s easy, but because it’s right. Amen.