I write this blog

I write this blog.  I've been writing it inconsistently for over four years now.  I am not a writer.  I've never published a book or an article in    a magazine. I've never even had an editorial printed in the local newspaper. But I write this blog and it gets published in cyberspace.  I have had entries from this blog posted, copied, and shared by others without my permission.  I don' care about that. I have had people comment on my blog entries with critical thinking.  As a liberal arts graduate, I appreciate the possibility of dialogue or conversation as part of this writing experience. Some commentary is negative criticism from relatively anonymous people.  Anonymity is a good device for critical editors and know-it-all's.  I suppose journalists and authors deal with anonymous criticism all the time. I also suppose that is why I am not a journalist or author.
I write this blog to exercise my mind.  I write when I feel inspired by something or someone.  I write because I am free to do so here. Most of my writing is theological or religious or political.  The topics we are told to avoid when keeping good company.  But I like to think that all of these things have something to do with being human. What is God like? Is there a God?  What gods seek our allegiances?  Any response to these things is theology.  And any sense of human devotion to a god is religious whether the god is vishnu, allah, Jesus, or David Beckham. How people make sense of and articulate a response to God is also religious. Politics is about power, who has it, who doesn't, and how is it being used in human communities.  I write about these things, not as an expert but as a student. I suppose I could blog about other things:  My kids, sports, food, my dog, celebrities I like to watch. These would probably be more popular topics. But I don't write about those things.  
 I write about what I know and believe to be true.  I am not totally sure, though.  Take what I say with a grain of salt.  
I am a Lutheran Christian and a Pastor in an age and place where being a Lutheran Christian and a Pastor doesn't mean a whole lot to a whole lot of people.  I am not ashamed of who I am.  I sometimes wish I had become a lawyer or a doctor or a school teacher. I dream about the farm where I grew up and wish we were there.  I see the merit in so many other worthy callings. I will not likely become anyone or anything else.  I am who I am.  I didn't sign up for fame, fortune, worldly success, and professional respectability.  I'm not in it for the money.  I answered a call.  I believed and still do that God, the creator of the universe, chose me.  That the divine all-powerful God would choose a human is both biblical and strange.  Why me and not someone else?  Why do I think that God wants me to do what I do and live how I live?  Why did God call me or Paul or Abraham or Matthew or Mary or Stephen or Timothy or any of us?  Why does not God finish what God started?  Where is this all going and why do I think I am part of it?  Isn't that a bit egotistical of me?  Surely God can complete the process without my help.  So why do people believe God calls us,seeks us out, adopts us, and loves us?  That is also biblical. The God of the bible is personal, loving, compassionate, kind, just, powerful, and good.  It is that God in particular, the one who loves the whole creation, that has captured my heart and my imagination since childhood.  It was that God, through the ministry of Our Saviour Lutheran church, who called me to leave behind my family and our farm to go to seminary and become a Lutheran Pastor.  I thought, once, that I would make a difference in people's lives.  I thought that God would use me to inspire and to serve.   Now I understand that the calling has less to do with me and more to do with God.
 I think writing the blog is a way in which I continue to answer that call.  I write because God has spoken and I am trying to figure out what it means. I am trying to make sense of things here, aren't you?  No doubt, if given the chance, someone will find flaws in my theology or my expression of vocation.  I am flawed.  So is my writing. But God is good and loving and kind and just.  And if that is all I ever say, that is probably enough. I doubt my words will convince anyone. Sometimes I'm trying to convince myself.  That is why I write this blog.