Thursday, October 20, 2011

Linda and the butterflies

It's taken me a while to return to this blog, to writing altogether.  I think I have been suffering from depression.  Not clinical depression,but spiritual depression brought on by loss, grief, and routine. Don't worry, though.  In life, these times come.  And then they pass. Call it dark night of the soul or the abyss or spiritual death---it is necessary that these things happen in order for something new to emerge.  It has taken a little time, but I am ready now to tell this story:
This is the story of how Linda and the butterflies gave us tangible evidence of things worth hoping for.  Linda died too soon.  She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in November of 2010 and she died on September 10th. We were prepared and we were surprised.  Linda prepared us with the resilliency of a warrior.  The year was a roller coaster of crushed optimism and dashed hopes.  Mortality is sometimes brutal. Linda fought a good fight.  She trusted God to heal and to save her.  She let go of some things, even as she desperately clung to others for support and encouragement. She craved prayer and faces of those she loved.  She fought hard.  She persevered.  And she suffered so that her family might find some peace.  She told us the truth about everything.  She cried and laughed and went to the beach.  Linda was faithful.  She was a disciple, a follower and practitioner of the way of Jesus.  She was as good at it as any of us are.  She was distracted sometimes and disinterested and disillusioned.  She hoped for the church to be more than what it was. She had a vision of a church that was welcoming and vital and caring.  She was angry with the way people treated people in church.  She expected more of us.
Linda led this little congregation of Lutherans as the organizer of our global relief work.  She helped us extend ourselves beyond Akron to the larger world that God loves.  She increased our efforts 100 fold in three years, making World Hunger and World relief an integral part of our mission and ministry.
When she was dying and we knew she was dying I asked Linda what we should do for Lutheran World Relief this year. I also asked her what we might do in worship on 9/11 to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks.  Linda was creative and understood the power of aesthetics, the importance of creating space for the Spirit to work.  She said that we ought to assemble the Lutheran World Relief personal care kits on that day as a sign of compassion for suffering people around the world. Then she said we should release monarch butterflies as a sign of resurrection hope.  I had no idea how we were going to do that.  But her son and grandson did. Linda was a gardener who loved native perennials that attracted songbirds and monarchs.  So they collected monarch larvae, built them a habitat, and watched them transform into monarchs.  Linda was so sick in the last 14 days, we prayed she would die for peace sake.  She waited.  Or God did.  I don't know how it works.  But she died on September 10th, knowing that we would release butterflies and pack kits the next morning.