Friday, July 07, 2006

the news

North Korea's Kim Jung Ill refuses to apologize for their recent military missile launches, despite growing concern from the global community and the UN. In a reactionary move, President Bush has ordered that all Korean Americans, including adopted children and US citizens, be detained for questioning at an undisclosed US military facility.

In other news: The disputed Mexican election has been resolved in favor of the conservative candidate. In a rare move the US Supreme Court ordered that the election be closed and the President-Elect named, to insure that democracy is upheld. This move came after President Bush declared Mexico an extension of texas. in a press conference he said, "Texaco ain't just a gas station anymore."
In a related story, Karl Rove was said to have been seen "tanning" on a rooftop in Mexico City this week. Rove was quoted as saying: "I found the border adequately guarded on both sides. In fact, I had to crawl for 11 miles on my stomach, catch a pickup full of chickens and peppers, and walk eight city blocks to get to my 5-sthotel." Fortunately for Karl, his salary is slightly higher than 50% of Mexicans who make $5.00 a day or less. God forbid they cross the border to make $5.15 an hour doing a job few "privileged" Americans would stoop to do.

Quote of the week: President Bush on turing 60. "60 isn't as old as you think." Profound.

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